The Mourning Wood

The sailing ship of the pirate captain Natazsi, the Mourning Wood is becoming known for practising a sick punishment known as double dicking. Its figurehead is a winged snake with supple breasts that feature screaming faces in place of nipples.

The ship was formerly known as The Sea Bitch and The Man’s Promise.

History of the Mourning Wood

The Mourning Wood was captured by Captain Barnabas of the Wormwood, who sent his officers Plugg and Scourge, along with a skeleton crew, to sell the ship at port. During the journey, the crew mutinied, and following a vote it was determined that Natazsi, Splintershin, Jerry and Zep would captain the ship together.

However, when it came time to christen the ship, Splintershin was the only one willing to have sex with a free captain aboard the Mourning Wood. Natazsi and Jerry retired from captaincy at that time, while Zep was intimate only with Sandara Quinn, and so while Splintershin and Zep were ostensibly the co-captains of the ship, Zep had lost the respect of the crew and was viewed as the “Second Captain,” and her authority was routinely questioned.

Natazsi later seized command of the captaincy with the unanimous support of the crew (with the single exception of Zep).

The Mourning Wood

Merchant’s Galleon; Natazsi, Captain

Hull and Rigging

Hull Locations 10 (Standard, Wood; 80’ long x 40’ wide x 20’ high plus fore and aft castles)

Hull Defence AC 10, hardness 5, hp 150 each

Rigging Locations 7 (Hemp Rope; 3 masts, 2 locations aft mast, 3 location centre mast, 2 locations fore mast)

Rigging Defence AC 12, hardness 1, 75 hp each

Below the Waterline 300 hp




Fore 1 light ballista (3d8/19-20)

Aft 1 light ballista (3d8/19-20)

Ammunition 12 bolts


Str 40 (+15), Dex 7 (–2); Base Speed +9 (Poor), Into the Wind +4, With the Wind +18; Overland 5 mph

CMB +19, CMD 27



Officers/Important NPCs

Others marine x9, shipmate x13


crow’s nest (500 gp, 75 lbs), luxurious Captain’s quarters (2,500 gp, 1,000 lbs), galley (1,000 gp, 2,000 lbs), hold pump (800 gp, 1,000 lbs); Base Ship Weight 35,000 lbs;

Cargo Capacity 150 tonnes; Passenger Capacity 200

Current Weight: 36,720 lbs
Light Load 51,072 lbs; Medium Load 102,144 lbs; Heavy Load 153,216 lbs

The Mourning Wood

Skull and Shackles Robby tic